The female Russian Tortoise can retain sperm for up to 3 years

So I’m starting a new job on Monday.

And as much as I tried to fight it, it’s true what they say about the last couple weeks after you’ve put in your notice: I’ve totally checked out. So I sit at my desk all day, looking for entertainment on the internet, feeling ZERO guilt that I’m getting paid to do, well, nothing. My boss has refrained from giving me anymore projects, and rightly so, but I am bored out of my mind.

So I have mostly been spending my days reading about Russian Tortoises and chatting them up with other RT owners all over the world on this forum. I still have little insight as to why my torts haven’t mated yet – but at least now I know it’s possible for the female to retain sperm with her for up to 3 years before laying any eggs! I've learned that I need to improve their diet so I spent $12 ordering seeds online so I can grow them some tasty dandelions. (I could write a whole other post about my, ahem, “experiences” attempting to keep any plant alive, but that's for another day.)


I’ve also taken more internet surveys and lame questionnaires telling me everything from my IQ (which isn’t as high as it was when I was 6 and placed in gifted classes, to my horror) to which career I should be pursuing (detective) to what astrological sign I “should” be (cancer – good call). It’s amazing how much you can learn about yourself from these extremely reputable sources on psychology and human behavior. I never would have thought to be a DETECTIVE of all things! But now, thanks to the internet, I should probably start thinking about a major career move. And hey…maybe all those re-runs of Law & Order I’ve been voraciously watching over the years have had some integral effect on me.